For well over a decade medical professionals have been sounding the alarm about the declining state of mental health among our children and teens. As one who has been in education for nearly 45 years, I can attest to the decline in the mental health of our children and it remains one of my top concerns as an educator, parent, and grandparent.

For me the statistics seem staggering. According to the National Institute of Health, nearly 20% of children and young people ages 3-17 in the United States have a mental, emotional, developmental, or behavioral disorder, and suicidal behaviors among high school students increased more than 40% in the decade before 2019. While many attribute this decline to the pervasive influence of technology, a closer look at all of the data has revealed a more nuanced cause. The loss of autonomy, the diminishing opportunity for children and teens to explore, take risks, and learn from mistakes, is a significant factor negatively affecting their mental health. 

In 2011, Peter Gray, a Psychologist and Researcher at Columbia University published a powerful study in the "American Journal of Play"  which highlights the correlation between the rise in overprotective parenting and the decline in children's play. The research emphasizes that play, especially unsupervised and risk-taking play, is critical for healthy psychological development. Overprotective parenting, characterized by constant adult supervision and intervention, deprives children of this vital growth opportunity.  Since that study, numerous other studies validated what Gray first expressed in 2011. This overprotection, as argued by Skenazy and Haidt in their work on the "fragile generation," leads to a lack of resilience and increased anxiety among youths. This is a reason why perseverance is a key character strength at Schechter.

While technology is often cited as the reason for the decline in youth mental health, its role may be overstated. The American Academy of Pediatrics (2019) suggests that technology, when used appropriately, does not necessarily harm children's psychological well-being. Instead, the issue lies in how it replaces traditional forms of child's play and exploration. Technology becomes a problem when it contributes to a passive, isolating lifestyle which discourages outdoor activities that are crucial for developing autonomy and resilience.

Prominent psychologists, including Dr. Peter Gray, have long advocated for the benefits of risk-taking and autonomy in child development. These experiences are crucial in building confidence, problem-solving skills, and resilience. A report by the "Child Mind Institute" (2020) underscores the importance of allowing children to make mistakes and learn from them, fostering independence and reducing anxiety.

In addition to the need for autonomy and risk-taking in personal development, we need to better extend these same ideas to schools and learning. Today's schools often under challenge students, inadvertently depriving them of essential growth opportunities. We must better embrace the value of challenging students academically, allowing them to grapple with complex problems, and encouraging them to think critically and independently. Wagner and Dintersmith in their book, "Most Likely to Succeed," argue for a transformative approach in education that prioritizes critical thinking, problem-solving, and creativity over rote memorization and standardized testing. This is something we are very much focused on at Schechter. 

An integral part of this educational paradigm shift, which has been slow to take hold, is the normalization of failure as a learning tool. Failure, often seen negatively, is a powerful educator. It teaches resilience, problem-solving, and perseverance. Students, as well as parents, need to recognize and embrace the importance of learning to overcome obstacles and failures. Schools and parents should encourage a growth mindset, where challenges and failures are seen as opportunities for learning and self-improvement. The best learning takes place when we learn from mistakes and when we experience just enough healthy stress to succeed. Schechter Bergen is not immune from this trap and we are examining our own practices.

Unfortunately for far too long now over-intervention by teachers and parents in a child's education, often labeled as 'helicopter teaching' or 'snowplow parenting,' has been counterproductive. It robs children of the chance to navigate challenges independently and develop essential life skills. A study by the National Association of School Psychologists highlights the negative impact of such practices on student autonomy and motivation. While counter-intuitive for many, this practice actually increases anxiety among our youth. Students need to be allowed to take ownership of their educational journey, including the responsibility for their successes and failures. Colleges and the workforce are both seeing the negative effects of this approach.  

Taking responsibility for one's actions, successes, and failures is a critical aspect of building confidence. When children and teenagers are allowed to face the consequences of their actions in a supportive environment, they develop a sense of self-worth. The educational system, along with parental support, should focus on fostering responsibility and accountability from an early age. This approach not only builds confidence but also prepares young individuals for the challenges of adult life.

The decline in mental health among children and teens is a complex issue, but the evidence suggests that the loss of autonomy and overprotective parenting play a more significant role than technology. It's time to shift the focus from screen time to the critical need for independence and risk-taking experiences in youth development. We need to do this in their play and in their learning. By doing so, we can foster a generation of confident, resilient, and mentally healthy young individuals.