“The Jewish tradition teaches us that our impact on the world is the true measure of our lives."  - Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks z”l (JNC)

Judaism teaches us that each life has sacred value and as such each person has a unique purpose or mission in life. Our secular culture and what our children see on social media often seem in conflict with our Jewish values. America and its ultra-materialistic, celebrity-centric culture covets pleasure, self indulgence and status -  surely not measures based on acts of hesed and tzedakah. Given the stark contrast, do we value a meaningful life over a pleasurable life, often defined as a happy life? Do we measure our lives by the amount of wealth we accumulate, or the number of possessions we own, or do we measure it by the impact we have on others and the positive change we bring to our families, community, and even the world?

Parents want the best for their children (and grandchildren). They want them to be successful, healthy, and most importantly, happy - a very western value! But what if parents had to choose between their child living a happy life or a meaningful life? Would you choose one over the other? This is a question that challenges the values of parents, and one that needs to be considered carefully as we think about how we measure our lives and how we would hope our children would come to see their place in the world and how they would measure their lives. The pursuit of happiness is a (modern) fundamental human right, but what does it mean to be happy? Happiness is often associated with pleasure, positive emotions, and the absence of negative emotions. It is a fleeting state of mind that can be influenced by external factors, such as material possessions or social status. In fact, in those circumstances it usually is not happiness we experience, rather, pleasure, which is fleeting.

Science has shown that the internal sources of happiness, such as personal growth, meaningful relationships, and taking action to benefit others, lead to long-term satisfaction - an inner happiness.

Meaning in life is associated with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It comes from contributing to something greater than yourself, such as a career, family, or community. Meaningful experiences often involve sacrifice, effort, and challenges, but they lead to a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that goes beyond mere pleasure or fleeting happiness.

Embracing pleasure and happiness in life is a good thing too, but not the only thing we should be pursuing. As parents, we want our children to be happy, but we also want them to lead meaningful lives. This requires us to focus on developing their character, values, and purpose, rather than just providing them with material possessions and opportunities. It means teaching them to be resilient, compassionate, and responsible individuals who contribute to society and make a difference in the world based on the values set out for us in our Jewish tradition.

While we could argue that happiness is essential for a full life, it is not enough to sustain a fulfilling life. Meaning, on the other hand, provides a sense of purpose and direction, leading to a more meaningful and fulfilling existence.

Our tradition is rich with teachings on how to live a meaningful and purposeful life. One of the most fundamental principles is the idea of "tikkun olam," repairing the world. This concept suggests that we all have a responsibility to make the world a better place. 

In reality we should not have to choose between our children living a happy life or a meaningful life. Rather, we should strive to instill in them the values and character traits that lead to both. We should encourage them to pursue their passions, develop meaningful relationships, and contribute to something greater than themselves through acts of kindness and service to others. By doing so, we can ensure that our children lead fulfilling and satisfying lives, with a sense of purpose and meaning that goes beyond mere happiness. And in that way, they will come to understand the true measure of their lives as a blessing.